Impending Dreams
by AlexandraaCullen
Summary: Bella has had future telling dreams for a while now, but she has told no one. What if she had a dream of Edward leaving her before it actually happened? Could she stop Edward from leaving? Set in New Moon.
1. Part I

_"They've promised that dreams can come true - but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too."_

― _Oscar Wilde_

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

**~Part One~**

**Bella's POV**

"_Bella?"_

_I shook my head from my wandering thoughts, clearing my raspy throat. "Uh yes Mr. Varner?" I really need to pay more attention in math class._

"_Do you have the answer to the question written on the board?" He asked, smugly. _

"_Umm." My mind blank as I stuttered, my cheeks reddening by the passing second._

"_That's what I thought."_

The scene vanished before my eyes, suddenly I was back in my small blue bedroom, twisted in the blankets of my bed.

The bedside clock read 5:45. Only fifteen minutes till I had to be up for school, I made as well get up.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, whilst a quiet yawn escaped my mouth. I sat up in bed, the sunlight spilling through the curtains.

The dreams had not ceased. I got my first one three weeks ago. Every dream has come true so far, today was simply in math class. Speaking of which, I had to remember to pay attention today in math.

I was going to speak to Edward about my future telling dreams but since my dreadful birthday party four days ago, he has been distant and acting off. I haven't really had the chance to tell him, he never spends the night with me anymore, the drives to school are silent, no conversation happens during lunch either. I've been meaning to talk to him about that lately too, but I assume he will come around eventually. He is probably just upset over the whole Jasper incident.

I sighed but nonetheless got up, preparing for the day ahead of me. Hopefully Edward will be out of his funk today.

X~X~X

The day passed as a blur, Edward still isolated and cold. I desperately wanted to kiss him after he dropped me off at the house after school but he left abruptly, not even saying 'I love you' back.

I was beginning to worry, the other Cullens have been gone this week. Though Edward said they were away on a hunting trip. They looked well feed, their eyes golden, maybe it was because of the Jasper incident. I haven't seen them since then, I'm sure they will be back soon.

Perhaps I could talk to Alice about Edward's mood. She always knew what to say in situations like these.

Things are bound to get better soon anyway.

X~X~X

"_Class, today I will be assigning you a group project to work on with your lab partner. I will be giving you the rest of the week in class to complete it. The rest will be finished on your own project will be due on Monday of next week." Mr. Banner announced, handing out the project outline sheets to each pair._

_I turned to Edward, who seemed staring dully out the window, his face hard, void of emotion. The liquid gold eyes were now solid and lifeless._

_It pained me to see. I decided I would talk to him tonight, I needed him to let me in. We would be okay, we're in this together._

"_Edward? What should be work on first?"_

_He turned looking down at the table, his voice was stone, emotionless. "I suppose we could work on the lab portion first."_

_Silently he rose from the table to retrieve the materials._

The dream ended abruptly, my consciousness coming back to me. These dreams were becoming much more frequent and scenes longer. The first one I dreamt was of me merely dropping a pencil in Spanish class, but now I had full conversations and events.

My dream decided I would talk to Edward tonight, so after school I would. Maybe I could bring up my dreams as well. I believe the rest of the Cullens would be returning from the hunting trip tomorrow night too.

I felt relieved almost, excited for things to get back to normal finally. I was left feeling refreshed and ready for the day.

X~X~X

Biology happened just the way I envisioned it this morning in my dream. Mr. Banner assigned us that lab project, Edward partnered with me of course.

Currently, I was in the passenger's seat of Edward's Volvo. He was driving me home, while I was preparing what to say to him when we arrived at Charlie's. Of course I had spent almost the entire day thinking of what to say but the talk was approaching so much quicker. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, the nervousness getting to me. Though Edward wasn't paying any attention to me, his eyes with looking straight ahead dully looking at the road.

The Volvo pulled up in the driveway, I made no move to get out of the car. Edward realized this, he mechanically turned to face me.

I swallowed anxiously, "Can we talk?"

He frowned, his voice harsh, "Not today Bella."

His dead voice cut through me deeply, I flinched internally.

"Tomorrow."

Relief flowed through me, I grinned happily before exiting the car.

"See you tomorrow." But Edward had already backed out of the driveway, speeding away.

I blinked away salty tears, gnawing on my lip.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow we would sort everything out.

X~X~X

"_Come for a walk with me." He motioned towards the green thicket of twisting trees and moss._

_I smiled, following behind him into the forest. Today was the day we would make things right, everything would go back to normal just like before. The rest of the Cullen family would be home tonight from hunting as well, excitement brewing up inside of me. _

_To my surprise Edward unexpectedly stopped right at the border of the forest just off the side of the house._

_His gaze was hard, the stone cold facade in place. "We're leaving Forks." _

"_What? Just one more year. You said-" I trailed off. His expression caught me off guard, his mind was set already._

"_I need to think of something to say to Charlie." _

_Silence enveloped us, he eyes blank. It scared me. Edward's posture was tense, cold, his expression an unreadable mask. _

_That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks._

"_When you say 'we'?..."_

"_I mean myself and my family." _

"_I'm coming." I said, keeping my voice firm._

_He looked down upon me, his voice filled with ice, slicing through me like a hot knife in butter, "I don't want you to come."_

"_You don't want me?" Those words placed in that order sounded odd coming from my mouth. _

"_No." Not once did his voice waver. _

_Rejection washed through me in painful waves. My heart pounded painfully in my ears, making me dizzy, my hearing fuzzy._

_Edward's sentences blurring together, I was unable to form words._

"_You don't belong in my world."_

"_You're not good for me Bella."_

"_Just a mere distraction for the time being."_

_Tears stung in my eyes, blurring my sight. He stepped forward, pressing his cold lips to my forehead as a farewell. _

"_It will be as if I never existed."_

_Then he was gone._

I woke up, tears streaming down my face, my frame shaking with sobs, my heart pounding in my chest frantically.

My stomach heaved, I leaned over the garbage can disposing of last nights dinner.

I sobbed for what seemed like hours.

Then I realized.

This was going to happen today.

My tears stopped suddenly, frozen momentarily before I shot into action.

I had to do something and fast, the time was 5:30. Edward would be arriving in just over an hour, my time was limited.

I needed to get out of here, if I wasn't here he couldn't tell me he was leaving Forks. I needed to run. So my plan was a bit cliche, and not completely planned out but I had nothing better, this would at least give me some extra time to think about what I could do next.

I quickly dressed into a pair of worn jeans and a thick sweatshirt before grabbing a granola bar and my rain jacket and I was out the door in a rush. Fortunately it was raining, the odds in my favour. This way Edward couldn't track my scent.

I was going to need a lot of time, I needed Edward to think I was at school. So, I thought of the great idea to drive my truck to the school parking. I would give it till lunch until Edward figured out I wasn't at school.

That's what I did, I drove my rusty truck to Forks High parking lot, nibbling on my granola bar the entire way, nauseousness knotting up my stomach. A hole punctured in my chest at the thought of Edward not wanting me anymore. I couldn't live without him, that's why I was doing this, I'm so selfish.

When I arrived at my destination, I quickly parked then jumped out of the truck quickly, then broke out into a swift run, my feet carrying me faster than ever before. I ran into the forest, in the opposite direction of Charlie's house and the Cullens mansion.

The rain poured down on me, soaking my hair and my clothes, leaving me chilled to the bone. But a little rain and cold was definitely not going to stop me.

My chest was tight with sobs desperately wanting to be released but I needed to be strong. No I HAD to be strong. My legs felt like jelly, but I kept up my pace. My goal was to be as far from Forks as possible, hidden deep within the forest. I was bound to be found eventually, in the meantime I needed to come up with a stealthy plan.

Horrid pain radiated from the fresh wound in my chest, anguish and heartbreak so terrible it would have sent Jasper to his knees.

But I was strong. I had to be.

After continuous hours of nonstop running, the pain was too much to handle, I collapsed to the ground sobbing, my knees giving out underneath me.

I always knew I wasn't enough for Edward, he deserved much better than a weak frail little human girl who constantly needed saving.

But to have those suspicions confirmed hurt much more than I ever imagined. I let out an anguished cry, which echoed in the surrounding trees.

I curled into a ball on the wet forest floor, dirt sticking to my matted hair. I shook uncontrollably, every now and then a piercing scream exited my lips when the pain became too much. His words haunting my every thought, the pain of hearing his velvety voice reject me.

I had to get up. My plan was still in action, I had to get up. I checked my watch. 12:46, no doubt Edward found out I wasn't at school, he was probably searching for me right now. The thought, gave me the strength to get back on my feet and venture further into the twisting path of fallen trees and mossy plants.

Around an hour later, anxiety brewed up, he was going to find me soon. I hadn't thought of anything yet. How could I possibly get Edward to postpone his departure?

I ignored the raw blisters on my feet and my achy muscles to continue my journey. It would come to me soon.

Minutes passed, my anxiety peeking, my hope fading quickly. My eyes welled with angry impatient tears.

"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!" I hit a tree with my hand, only to curse under my breath at the sudden sharp pain in my hand.

"Dammit." I hissed, cradling my hand. I dropped to the ground, allowing the tears to break through the barrier, flowing down my cheeks.

I shivered in the cold, there was nothing I could do to make Edward stay, he was going to leave, if he hadn't already. That just brought on another round of salty tears, the tears mixed with the raindrops on my rosy cheeks.

I had forgotten about the pain in my hand as the pain in my heart overruled it easily. So I accidently hit my injured hand on a fallen tree branch.

I hissed once again, more tears welling in my eyes. Why did I have to be so weak!

That's it!

I jumped up. I could use pain.

Edward would stay for now if he knew I was injured! So perfect! How could I have not thought of this before?!

I should have remembered the James accident, he didn't even leave the room, only for me to use the bathroom or change clothes.

This was foolproof!

Still, I did have to injure myself. Ah, it would all pay off in the long run.

I ran full speed ahead, closing my eyes. I managed to trip over a tree stump, hitting my head on the trunk of a tree and slicing my arm open on a jagged rock. The blood would make it easier for Edward to find me too, considering the rain was letting up slowly.

Pain coursed through my body, nothing compared to the heartbreak I have been experiencing all day. This was absolutely nothing.

I fainted multiple times, from the intense pain and dizziness in my head. I must have a concussion.

My eyes fluttered open slightly, a white figure came into view behind a cluster of trees. My eyesight was blurry, but I believed it was finally Edward.

I moved my head to get a better view and confirm it but in result my stomach convulsed and bile rose up my throat and made an appearance in a nearby bush. I choked, my throat burning. My eyes were heavy, the rusty scent of blood still in the air.

"Bella!"

I moaned in response.

His cold marble hands were on my face, the dizziness made my eyesight blur, I could barely make out his face. Pain was constant, numbing. My body shook in the freezing damp air, another coughing fit broke from my chest. A metal taste evident in my mouth. Blood. I was coughing up blood.

I tried hard to concentrate on not fainting, but with the immense pain, heartbreak and the smell of blood in the air, it was very difficult to say the least.

I could scarcely make out being picked up in stone arms before everything went black, sucking me in, consuming me.

X~X~X

The darkness still enveloping me, though I could faintly hear voices, panicked voices laced with worry.

Pain weighted down my body, my heart pounding heavily with each unsteady breath I took. But that wasn't the worst of it, the worst was in my heart. A crippling affliction. It was the most awful kind of torture, like a thousand sharp knives stabbing at you repeatedly. Actually I would rather that than this agonizing anguish.

A inaudible moan escaped my parted lips.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" A velvety voice asked, interlaced with concern and worry.

My eyelids fluttered open, quickly shutting as the light hit me causing my headache to intensify.

"Love?"

My throbbing heart skipped a beat when he called me love. My plan worked! I managed to make him stay for a little while longer. But I couldn't keep him here forever.

The thought sent the dread back, and the heartbreak doubled. I let out an agonized yelp silently, the misery obvious in my voice.

"Bella?! Are you in pain?"

I opened my eyes slowly, allowing myself to take in the surroundings. I was in the hospital, a heart monitor beeping beside my bed, Edward on the other.

"Should I call the doctor?"

I stared at him blankly, I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't form words. My brain couldn't comprehend the events that had happened in the last twenty four hours. I shut my mouth, looking away, another wave of pain washing over me. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting Edward to see me so vulnerable. Tears welled in my eyes with the rejection that I felt.

He didn't love me.

He doesn't want me.

He never will.

I'm not good enough.

"Bella! Talk to me!" I could feel Edward boring holes on the side of my head, but I wouldn't turn. "Please." He begged, looking torn. He yanked at his bronze locks.

At that moment the doctor walked in the room with a clipboard in hand.

"Isabella, how are you feeling?"

I looked up at him through pained eyes. But I didn't speak, I couldn't. I just stared blankly, no expression. I was numb, unable to grasp what had happened.

"She won't speak." Edward spoke in monotone.

"Hmm, it could be post traumatic stress. Do you know what happened?"

"I just found her in the forest."

"What were you doing in the forest?" The doctor questioned, furrowing his brow.

"I was taking a walk. I didn't see her at lunch so I assumed she had taken a walk, so I decided to investigate." He lied.

"I see, and you just found her like that?"

"Yeah." He answered in a pained voice. Edward was such a good actor, he genuinely sounded like he truly cared about me. Even though he was probably just guilty, so he would be staying momentarily, then I would get better and he would leave. Then I would need a new plan to get him to stay longer..

"Well we should get her something to eat." The doctor turned to me, "What would you like Isabella?"

I stared, emotionless, but no words left my mouth.

"That's alright. I will get a nurse to bring something up." With that, he smiled weakly before turning on his heels and swiftly leaving the room.

A nurse came in minutes later with a tray of food. A bowl of soup, toast and a glass of juice. She set it on the bedside table beside Edward.

I made no move to pick it up, I just fixed my gaze on the plain wall ahead of me. All I could think about is not being wanted, I was unworthy and undeserving.

"You need to eat, so you can get better."

No, I don't want to get better. The sooner I get better, the sooner the day in the forest will come where Edward will leave me.

I flinched, though it didn't go unnoticed by Edward.

At that moment, Charlie decided to run in.

"Bella! You scared me half to death when I got a call from hospital!" He choked out, his voice thick with emotion.

But I just couldn't sort what was reality and my imagination or dreams. Memories mangled. Everything was blurred together, voices and events. People I love.

Certain people who don't return that love anymore.

I flinched away, focusing on the white bed sheets twisted up at my feet.

"Bells?"

The voice was fuzzy, but his words had no meaning. My limbs were heavy, like I had no control over them, they were just still, frozen.

I am trapped.

In my own body.

X~X~X

"_I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't remember" Except, they haven't happened yet..._


	2. Part II

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

**~ Part Two ~**

**Bella's POV**

I was sent home from the hospital today. It has been four days since I ran into the woods and purposely injured myself to keep Edward here.

Well it worked...

Edward hasn't left my side since then, but I haven't spoken a word. I've been force fed by the nurses at the hospital, or by Edward. I couldn't sleep. I haven't moved an inch with the exception of the washroom. I just stare blankly, lifeless at the walls each passing hour.

Edward looks genuinely concerned, but he a good actor, so who knows anymore.

But I am hurting Charlie, which kills me inside. He truly doesn't deserve this, I am a terrible person, so very selfish. But I just can't, I am unable to function.

A velvety voice interrupting the drowning silence. "Bella." His voice broke. "Please talk to me."

I wanted Edward to see the anguish in my eyes, but I couldn't move.

"Please." He whispered in a tortured voice. The feeling of coldness crept up my arm where his hands brushed across me. Suddenly his hands cupped my cheek and his agonized form came into view. He sincerely looked awful, dark purple bags etched underneath his sorrowful black eyes, his usual tousled bronze hair sticking up in all directions.

Boy, he could win an Oscar Award for that.

Just looking at him brought me so much crippling affliction and the heartbreaking rejection.

"_You're not good for me Bella."_

Spasms of torment shot through me, immobilizing my body. Pain ripped my heart to shreds like hot acid poured on a fresh wound.

Edward always worried about taking my soul away. Well his greatest fear came true because he finally took it away. I didn't know if I would ever get it back.

X~X~X

Charlie took me to the doctor today after a week of my zombie state so to say. He knew my behavior wasn't normal. The doctor threw around words like 'catatonic' and 'comatose'. Edward witnessed this all, he looked considerably distressed, but I didn't believe it for a second.

Charlie was still shocked and not wanting to believe a word that the doctor had stated about my condition. He is debating on whether or not to call a therapist or another doctor for a new diagnosis.

Charlie was so worried he often didn't care the amount of time Edward was spending in my room trying to coax me out of my current state. Although he has not yet succeeded. I think Charlie secretly likes the fact someone is here to look after me while he is at work during the day. Edward has stayed home with me all week, only leaving my side once when he received a call.

But that didn't go unnoticed by myself, though Edward probably thought so. He spoke in fast hushed tones, I knew it had to be Carlisle or one of the others. Most likely asking Edward why he hadn't joined them yet.

My heart should have shattered at thought but it was already broken to begin with. I was only numb now.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Cullens still have not returned from their so called 'hunting trip', surely Edward will continue to make up pathetic excuses on why I will never see them again.

X~X~X

My eyelids were heavy, my body was desperately overtired. I needed sleep exceedingly. My body screamed for my eyes to shut and slip into unconsciousness.

Sure in the last week, I had gotten a few minutes of sleep here and there, but I was never fully under.

But tonight was different. My body dragged me down under, my eyes shutting effortless, my body visibly relaxing as I started to drift into what I hoped would be a blissful sleep.

_The forest was dark, eerie. Darkness descending in as I ran through the twisted path of moss and fallen twigs snapping under my feet. _

"_Edward!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice raw._

_Loneliness tugging at my heart, the pain was unbearable but I continued running._

_I stopped abruptly when his figure emerged from beneath a dark shadow. His black stone eyes narrowed, his lips curling into a frown._

_But worst of all the hate dripping from his heartbreaking voice sent shivers down my spine._

"_I already told you. I don't want you."_

"_You don't want me?"_

_Edward laughed darkly, "No, I don't. Who would want you?"_

_I fell to my knees, unable to bear the crippling agony that he brought upon me._

"_You don't belong with me. I don't love you." _

_Tears sprang in my eyes, blurring my vision. "Please." I begged. My voice laced with misery._

"_I must be going now. Goodbye Isabella." He cackled before disappearing in the shadows once again._

_I fought to get up but physically I couldn't. A velvety voice attacked at my mind with his last words._

"_It will be as if I never existed."_

_Sobs wracked my convulsing body, the voices echoing in my mind only got louder, more hateful each time._

"_STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I gripped the sides of head, squeezing my eyes shut._

"Bella!" Warm hands were shaking me awake, the last bits of the nightmare slowly fading, the voices drowning away.

I opened my eyes, Charlie was hovering over my bed, looking at me through panicked eyes. I collapsed into his arms, sobbing.

"H-he's g-g-gone." I cried, soaking Charlie's shirt with my salty tears.

He rubbed my back soothingly, his tone soft and reassuring, "Who's gone Bella?"

The hole in my chest tore open further, resulting in more anguished cries of pain.

"E-E-Edward." I sobbed.

His haunting cold face flooded to my mind, his hateful stare, the venom dripping from his voice.

The unmistakable feeling of nausea hit me and suddenly I was pulling out of Charlie's arms and leaning over the garbage bin beside my bed, retching. Bile and the little amount of food I had consumed made a disturbing reappearance.

I fell back into Charlie's arms, crumbling. I shook violently, sobbing louder than ever before.

"H-he's gone. He's g-gone."

"Shh, Bella. He's at his own house right now. He's not gone." He reassured me, confused by the sudden turn of events.

"N-n-no. He left. H-he d-didn't want me an-anymore." My voice shook along with me, I sucked in gasps of air, hiccupping in the end.

To confirm Ed- he was gone was absolutely excruciating.

"EDWARD!" I screamed through sobs.

"Bella! It's okay, he's not gone, I promise."

That only put me into further hysterics, sobs wracked my small frame, my heart shattering over and over again.

Charlie could see I wasn't going to calm down until I saw Edward. He sighed, rubbing his hand over the stubble on his jaw.

"I'll call Edward, get him to come over." Charlie attempted to give me a weak reassuring smile but it looked more like a grimace. He rubbed my arm and left the room to do downstairs to call Edward.

My crying continued, my mind tortured by images of Edward laughing as he left me, over and over. The sight of his dark evil eyes taunting my pathetic crying form and the venom in his voice as he told me he didn't love me.

Minutes past, soon Charlie returned with Edward who was tugging on his disheveled locks. He had a look of sheer panic in his butterscotch eyes.

As he saw me on the bed in a sobbing mess he rushed over and encased me in his strong protective arms.

I allowed myself that moment to enjoy his presence, pushing aside the fact he no longer loved me. I let out heavy sobs in the crook of his neck as he placed his chin on the top of my head and smoothed the back of my hair with his hand. My breath came in short desperate pants. Edward settled me in his his lap, rocking me back and forth while I gripped his shirt like my life depended on it.

Sobs ripped through me, I shook like a leaf unable to stay still. I was completely hysterical. Through my congested nose I could faintly smell Edward's intoxicating scent I had grown so used to. As I inhaled through my nostrils, it was almost like an instant calm.

Edward had been whisperings sweet reassuring words in my ears for quite some time, seeing that it wasn't working too well he decided to switch to humming my lullaby instead. My crying gradually quieted down into sniffles, my eyelids becoming extremely heavy, desperately pleading for me to shut my eyes and drift into a deep slumber. Soon I surrendered, my eyelids closing and my consciousness slowly fading away.

X~X~X

**Edward's POV**

Sorrow and grief weighted me down, words could not describe how I felt. My poor sweet Bella. I don't know what to do.

Something happened in that forest, but I didn't know what. It was the morning of the day I had been dreading since Bella's birthday party when I first made the decision to leave her.

I was preparing for the dreadful day ahead of me, getting dressed in the first clothes I grabbed in my overflowing closet, _courtesy to Alice of course. _I had driven over to Bella's, surprised to see Bella's old truck was not present in the driveway. Confused, I left, driving to school figuring she would be there.

Sure enough as I suspected Bella's Chevy truck was parked in the lot. So, I could out of my Volvo, making my way over to Bella's truck to meet her. I wanted to make the most of the time left with her even though I knew what was going to occur later that day after school.

My family had already left to Ithaca, the place we would be moving to next. I had told Bella they went on a long hunting trip in Canada, I couldn't have Bella know what was happening yet. I had dreaded this day for so long, I wanted to stretch out the time a little further but I knew it was time, I had to do it today. I couldn't wait any longer, I had already waited to long. It was for her safety.

Again, to my surprise Bella was not waiting in her truck as I thought she would be. Puzzled, I went inside the school ready to look for her. But the bell rang, I figured she would already be in English class so I left for Spanish.

The morning flew by much too quickly for my liking. I knew it would only be a few mere hours before I had to break Bella's heart. The thought of leaving was so excruciating, I didn't know how I was going to do it. But I kept chanting my inner mantra, that this was to protect Bella from my terrible world. She needed to live a happy human life. She could not have that with my presence invading her life.

The bell rang loudly, the body of students flooding the halls, excited for lunch break to begin. Sighing, I left to go meet Bella at her locker like I did everyday. I knew she knew something was up, I wasn't acting myself. It's just incredibly hard to act so hay when deep down I knew exactly what was going to happen. Even for a vampire.

I turned the corridor, arriving at Bella's locker. She wasn't there yet so I decided to wait, knowing she wasn't going to be long.

Five minutes past, still no Bella. I began to worry but told myself she was probably just staying after class to talk to the teacher. Another five minutes went by and the halls were now deserted. Now I knew she wasn't talking to her teacher, worry filled me up. I tried not to panic as I anxiously walked in the direction of office.

I reached the office in no time. I walked up to the front desk where Mrs. Cope sat in her chair with a book in her face.

"Mrs. Cope?"

She looked up startled, but her hazel eyes twinkled as she realized it was me. I tried to block out her sexual thoughts as I had a bigger problem at hand.

"Yes Edward." She looked up at me beneath her eyelashes, blinking flirtatiously a couple times.

"Do you know if Bella Swan was present at school this morning?" I asked, anxiety brewing inside of me.

Mrs. Cope looked at her computer, searching for today's attendance list. After what seemed like hours but only a couple minutes, she looked up from the computer screen.

"She was absent today. Do you know why is isn't present today? It was marked as an unexcused absence."

If it were possible, my face paled a few shades whiter. "No I don't."

"Thank you." I spoke quietly, then turned on my heels sharply to leave the building. Panic began to build up faster, where was she?

I decided to drive to her house, maybe she was sick. That wasn't very reassuring but it was better than the unknown.

I speed all the way to Bella's house, faster than usual of course. I parked in her empty driveway and jumped out of the car in a hurry, quickly rushing to the doorway. I knocked loudly, silently hoping she wasn't sleeping. Nobody came to the door. I checked my wrist watch, it was currently 12:25.

I decided to climb up the tree and into Bella's window to see if she was in her room. When I jumped through the window and into her room I immediately knew she hadn't been in her room since early this morning because her scent was much fainter than usual. She wasn't home.

Trying not to panic, I attempted to rationalize. She was probably fine.

I inspected the room, my eyes panning around the room. Her room didn't look as it did usually. The bed was unmade which was very unusual for book bag laid sprawled on the floor, her books in a heap in a pile on the floor messily. Clothes were laying all over the floor instead of the spotless carpet and organized closet. Something was definitely up.

That's when I really went into panic mode, I jumped out the window quickly, not wanting to waste any precious time. Fortunately for me, the rain was beginning to clear up hopefully making my tracking Bella's scent easier.

I faintly picked up Bella's freesia scent in her backyard, curious I went out back. My unbeating heart dropped when I picked up her scent in the forest. I took an unnecessary deep breath and walked toward the dark thicket of trees.

The mossy forest floor was still damp as I sniffed the air. It was difficult to pick up her scent, the rain had partially washed it away.

The deeper I went into the forest, the more panicked I got. What was she doing? How much farther did she go?

My blood went cold when I smelled the potent freesia scent. Bella's blood. If my heart had still been beating it would have skipped a beat. Every muscle in my body was frozen for a split second. Then I shot into action, I rushed full speed, deeper into the forest following the enticing smell.

I ran through a cluster of trees and Bella's broken body came into view. Her small fragile frame was lying on the mossy ground. She looked disoriented. Suddenly Bella lifted her head in my direction her bloodshot eyes coming into view, her body convulsed and she threw up in a nearby bush.

"Bella!" I yelled as I ran towards her unmoving body. I crouched in front of her just as she coughed and the sweet smell of freesia filled my nostrils. My Bella was coughing up _blood. _

My hands shook violently as I picked her small body up in my arms just as her eyes fluttered close.

In a full speed run, I bolted through the thick trees in the direction of the hospital. On my way I fumbled with my cell phone. Quickly I dialed Carlisle's number, praying he would pick up immediately.

"Hello Edward."

I spoke in fast, worry coursing through me, "Carlisle, I didn't tell Bella I was leaving. I found in her the forest, she is coughing up blood. She was lying on the ground when I got there, I believe she has a concussion. I'm running to the hospital now."

Concern laced Carlisle's smooth calming voice, "Edward, try to stay calm, get her to the hospital. I'm sure she will be just fine."

Sucking in a deep breath, "Okay, I will call you later to update you. I must stay a few days to make sure she is alright. I will be joining you a little later than I anticipated."

"That is quite alright Edward. I will inform the others. I wish you good luck, and remember try not to panic, it won't be good for Bella."

"Thank you Carlisle." I ended the call, Carlisle seemed to get through to me partially. I felt a little more relaxed but no where near calm.

The large building came into view, I ran into the parking lot and into the doors of the hospital to the front desk.

X~X~X

Bella looked so fragile and broken. It made my unbeating heart throb. It had been two hours and she had remained unconscious. Desperately I ached to see her chocolate brown orbs and her beautiful dazzling smile. I frowned, soon I would be unable to see any of that.

Before my thoughts could continue to wander, I heard a soft inaudible moan. So quiet only a vampire could hear it. My head snapped in the direction of my Bella.

_She won't be your Bella for much longer. _A voice in my head reminded me.

Depression rolled over me, but I pushed it aside, now was not the time.

"Bella? Can you hear me?"

Bella's eyes opened for a slight second before they fluttered closed.

"Love?"

Her heart skipped a quick beat before she yelped silently as if she were in pain.

Concerned I asked, "Bella?! Are you in pain?"

She opened her eyes, I internally gasped at the amount of pain I saw in her brown irises.

"Should I call the doctor?"

Bella turned to look at me but she didn't speak, just stared at my face blankly. She opened her mouth but uttered no words, quickly she clamped it shut again. Turning away from me, I could smell the saltiness of tears.

Alarmed, I blurted, "Bella! Talk to me!" But no avail she did not turn to look at me or say a even a mere word. Just deafening silence.

Heavy footsteps came from the doorway, the doctor entered, a clipboard in his gloved hands.

"Isabella, how are you feeling?" I cringed, knowing she hated when people called her Isabella. I was sure she would correct him but to my surprise she remained silent. Though she did turn to look at him, but again just the same blank stare as before.

"She won't speak." I spoke in monotone, hurt by this fact.

"Hmm, it could be post traumatic stress. Do you know what happened?"

"I just found her in the forest." Not caring to elaborate.

The doctor furrowed his bushy brow, "What were you doing in the forest?"

"I was taking a walk. I didn't see her at lunch so I assumed she had taken a walk, so I decided to investigate." I lied.

"I see, and you just found her like that?"

"Yeah." I answered, sorrow filled my voice.

"Well we should get her something to eat." The doctor turned to Bella, "What would you like Isabella?"

She stared at him, no emotion present on her face.

"That's alright. I will get a nurse to bring something up." With that, he smiled weakly before turning on his heels and swiftly leaving the room.

A nurse came in minutes later with a tray of food. A bowl of soup, toast and a glass of juice. She set it on the bedside table beside me.

She made no move to pick it up. With that I intervened.

"You need to eat, so you can get better."

She flinched for an unknown reason. Though I really wish I knew. Mind reading would have been so helpful right about now.

At that moment, Charlie decided to run in.

"Bella! You scared me half to death when I got a call from hospital!" He choked out, his voice thick with emotion.

Bella flinched away again, focusing on the twisted white hospital sheets at her feet.

"Bells?"

X~X~X

Almost a week passed by, Bella's condition did not improve at all. Physically she was doing a lot better, but mentally she wasn't. The doctor diagnosed her behavior as catatonic or a comatose state. She still would not speak a word, I hadn't heard her beautiful melodic voice in days. It was killing me. I couldn't help her either. Desperately, I wished to know what had occurred that day in the forest.

My cell phone rang, distracting me from my thoughts. Quickly, I took a peek at Bella who was still staring blankly at the wall. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and holding to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello Edward." Carlisle answered. "I just wanted to check in with you, how is Bella? Will you be joining us soon?"

Sorrow tugged at my heart, "No she isn't doing any better, she still won't talk. I can't leave her now Carlisle. She is already has so much emotional conflict. I physically can not add to that." I made sure to speak in quick hushed tones so Bella would not be able to know what I was saying ,Bella still thought the others were on a long hunting trip. Though she probably didn't even notice I was on the phone.

"Alright, I understand son. I hope she improves. Are you positive you don't know the reason behind Bella's unusual behavior?"

"No, I wish I did. It is awful to see her like this." I replied, hearing the torment in my own voice.

"I truly hope she improves. I will see you soon Edward."

"Of course. Goodbye Carlisle." I shut my phone, placing inside my pocket once again. Bella still thought the others were on a long hunting trip.

I hope Bella improves too.

* * *

**Hi readers! I hope you guys liked part two! This one took me a long time to write, it is a really long update, almost 4000 words O.O So do you want me to continue? If you do please leave me a review, if I get to 20 reviews I will write the next chapter. Thanks xx**

**~Alexandra**


	3. Part III

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

**~ Part Three ~**

**Edward's POV**

My poor Bella was so tired, her lack of sleep was finally beginning to catch up to her. I hummed her lullaby quietly, soon she drifted off to sleep. I was relieved, sleeping would help her immensely.

I sat in her rocking chair in the corner of her room, watching over her. Hours went by as she slept peacefully.

That's when around four AM she began to twist and turn in her bed restlessly, a distressed look present on her face.

"Edward!" She yelled abruptly, I stiffened.

"EDWARD!" She yelled, louder this time. I was about to get up to wake her, but I heard Charlie waking up in the other room.

I was forced to jump out Bella's window into the tree outside. This way I could still see what was going on.

Suddenly she screamed an ear piercing shriek, "STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Horror filled me up, frantically I looked inside the window where I saw Bella thrashing on her bed. Charlie burst inside. He thought someone was trying to murder Bella. Normally, I would have laughed at his thoughts, but this definitely wasn't the time. When Charlie realized nobody was trying to hurt his daughter, he relaxed a little but made his way over to Bella who was still very distressed.

"Bella!" He yelled, shaking her to wake her up from her nightmare. Her chocolate brown eyes finally fluttered open revealing an indescribable amount of pain, far more than I thought was humanly possible. Bella collapsed in Charlie's arms, sobbing.

My heart ached to see her in so much pain from simply a nightmare opposed to reality. Desperately I craved to reach out and encase her in my arms but I knew I couldn't.

"H-he's g-g-gone." Bella cried.

_Who was gone?_

"Who's gone Bella?" Charlie asked reassuringly, just as puzzled as I was.

"E-E-Edward." She sobbed.

I looked at the scene in front of me with wide eyes. Me? Internally I cringed, is this the way she would be once I left?

No, Bella would get over it eventually. She was a human, in the future she would find a human man and live a happy life, married with children. I could not give her a long happy human life. My heart throbbed at the thought of Bella with another man other than myself but I had to make that sacrifice to ensure she would be safe and away from monsters such as myself.

Suddenly I was pulled from my wandering thoughts from the sound of retching. I turned my head to look through the window. Bella had pulled out of Charlie's arms and was vomiting into a trash bin.

I frowned. Had her nightmare frightened her that much?

Bella fell back into Charlie's arms. Charlie was never an emotional man, but he didn't seem to know what to do but he patted her back awkwardly but reassuringly. Bella shook violently, her sobs even louder. ""H-he's gone. He's g-gone."

My heart broke all over again. I knew I must leave eventually but will she ever recover? Part of me wanted to just forgot all about leaving and call back all the family but the more rational side of me was saying she would recover and I shouldn't be putting her in all this unnecessary danger.

"Shh, Bella. He's at his own house right now. He's not gone." Charlie whispered, unsure of what else to say.

"N-n-no. He left. H-he d-didn't want me an-anymore." Bella's cracked, she sucked in gasps of air, hiccupping in the end.

All of the sudden, a panic look appeared in her eyes and she screamed, "EDWARD!"

Anguish hit me hard, I found myself looking away from the window, yanking on my bronze disheveled hair and gasping for breath.

Could I really leave knowing there was a possibility that she could be just the way she was now, or worse even?

_Edward, this is for Bella's safety._

My inner debate continued until I heard Charlie announce to Bella he was going to call me from my house. Quickly I jumped onto the ground, sprinting into the forest. I sped through the thicket of trees to my house.

I got there in time to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily in my best Carlisle impression.

"Hello, its Charlie Swan, I know it's really early in the morning. But it is important. Can I speak to your boy Edward?"

"Of course. I will go wake him."

I put the phone down, waiting a bit so Charlie would indeed think Carlisle was waking me.

Finally, I picked up the phone, groggily I answered, "Hello?"

"Hello, it's Chief Swan. There is something upsetting with Bella." He answered.

"What's wrong? Is she okay?!" I blurted in a fast panicked voice. I knew exactly what was wrong but I couldn't have him knowing that.

"She had a nightmare, she won't calm down. I wouldn't normally do this, but she needs you." He breathed. In the background I heard Bella shriek.

"I'm on my way." I slammed the phone down, rushing out tomy silver Volvo. Though I wanted to just run over since it was faster, but I knew Charlie would be suspicious if I arrived without a vehicle.

The whole ride I was jittery, I needed to see Bella.

I pulled into Bella's driveway in a hurry, slamming the brakes and hopping out. I rushed to the door knocking frantically. As soon as the door opened I was inside with wide panicked eyes.

"She's upstairs." Charlie stated, noticing my frantic eyes.

I ran up the stairs, attempting to keep a human pace though it was close to impossible under the circumstances. Charlie followed behind me to Bella's pale blue bedroom.

While tugging on my messy hair, I noticed Bella rocking on her bed tears streaming down her puffy red rimmed eyes. Immediately I wrapped Bella up in my arms, pulling her onto my lap, rocking her gently with my chin resting on the top of her head.

She sobbed in the crook of my neck while I whispered reassuringly in her ear. I smoothed back her soft mahogany hair while Bella tightly fisted my shirt in her small hands.

Sobs continued to rip through her, she was still hysterical so I took it upon myself to switch to softly humming her lullaby. Gradually her cries turned to sniffles making me feel slightly better under the circumstances. Bella's eyes soon fluttered closed, her breathing evening out meaning she had fallen asleep. I placed a cool kiss on the top of her head, untangling her from myself. I pulled the blankets over her. Charlie had already left the room, returning to his bedroom where he had fallen asleep allowing me to stay the night with Bella. I settled in the rocking chair in the corner, watching over Bella for the rest of the night.

X~X~X

**Bella's POV**

Slowly my consciousness was returning, my eyes opening. Sunlight spilled through the window. I rose from my bed, peering around the room. My gaze stopped at my occupied rocking chair. Edward was here.

That's when last night's events came rushing back to me. I grimaced, looking down at my hands. I felt an unnatural cool breeze, looking up I saw Edward perched on the side of my bed, pain reflecting in his golden irises.

"Bella…" Slowly, he sighed, trailing off slowly. Silence swallowed me up, a lump in my throat.

"What happened last night?"

I gulped, forcing the lump down. "Just a nightmare." I attempted to keep my voice nonchalant but it cracked at the end.

Edward narrowed his disbelieving eyes. He waited, but when I didn't say anything else he turned breathing out a deep frustrated sigh.

That's when it dawned on me.

_Shit!_

Edward turned sharply at me, looking at me with a shocked expression.

Oops! Had I said that aloud?

Panic set in. "What day is it?"

"October 2nd"

Oh my god. Had I really been catatonic for that long? Where had the time gone? This means…

Edward is leaving soon.

What was I going to do? I had already stretched his departure to a couple weeks longer. I knew he wasn't going to stick around much longer, he doesn't love me after all. What if he leaves today?! I'm not hurt anymore, there would be no reason for him to linger here.

My breath sped up, turning to gasps. The hole in my chest ripped open farther, sending spasms of pain through my body.

"Bella? All you alright?"

No I wasn't. I jumped up off the bed, "I just need a human moment." I ran out of the room before he had time to answer.

I bolted into the bathroom, locking the door behind and sinking down the wall into a sitting fetal position on the cold tiled floor. The cold reminded me of Edward's cold granite skin. The ache in my chest increased, I got up from the floor, pacing back and forth.

I stopped to look at the mirror at my pathetic reflection. I looked terrible to say the least. My ratty brown hair was sticking up in every direction, my empty plain eyes sunken in while my pale skin a pasty sickly white. No wonder Edward didn't want me. I was no definition of perfect or even remotely pretty for that matter. Nothing like his breathtaking beauty of course.

I sighed, running my fingers through my messy locks of hair. I pulled up my shirt, inspecting my stomach. A small gasp escaped me. My stomach had shrunk, caving hip bones, prominent and sticking out sharply, my rib cage was visible also. I ran my fingers over the bones.

A few tears slipped down my cheeks, I was quick to brush them away with my hand.

I was so ugly. I was no match for Rosalie's supermodel looks or Alice's wild pixie beauty. Why couldn't I be beautiful instead of this pathetic plain body?

Not able to continue looking at my imperfections, I pulled my shirt down. I would never be beautiful so why dwell on the time wishing I was. Just like wishing for Edward to stay was a loss cause. He will never want someone like me.

X~X~X

"_Bella, come take a walk with me." Edward announced, his voice like stone. He turned to descend down the staircase, I followed closely behind him._

_He didn't take my hand, but led me to the forest. He stopped right at the edge._

"_We need to talk."_

_Fear pulsed through me, this was it._

"_We are leaving Forks."_

_Heartbreak hit me, but I remained emotionless and unaffected. I couldn't have him know what his words truly meant to me._

_I frowned, "I'll come with you." I pleaded._

"_I don't want you to come with my family and I." Edward said, a stoic mask in place._

_I was speechless._

"_You see Bella, you were only a distraction to keep me occupied for a while. I have grown bored now and it is time for me to leave."_

_My mouth hung open in shock, "B-but, I thought-"_

_He cut me off, "No, I don't love you. But do not fret, your kind will easily forget and you can continue to live your human life without any interference from myself."_

_Tears welled in my eyes. "But I love you."_

"_Like I said, your feelings are human, they aren't strong as mine are. You will forget and move on." Edward answered calmly._

"_Well it is time for me to leave now. Please stay safe, for Charlie's sake of course." He took a step closer to me. "Goodbye Isabella." That's when he placed a cold kiss on my forehead as a farewell._

_Then he was gone._

I gasped for breath as I awoke from my dream. Edward was going to leave tomorrow morning!

I peered at the clock next to me. It read 5am. Edward wasn't here, had he already left?

Salty tears filled my eyes, brimming over and spilling onto my cheeks. I allowed the heavy sobs to be released and crumbled onto the floor in a mess.

Why couldn't I be good enough for him?

The throbbing in my heart increased in intensity to the point of excruciating agony, while gasping for breath on the bedroom floor. I tried to muffle my loud sobs in my hands in fear I would wake Charlie from his slumber in the other room.

A velvety voice attacked my mind. I gripped the sides of my head letting out a quiet screech. The hole in my heart swelling rapidly, seizing in great affliction. Dizziness came over me, I hit the floor, making the room tilt in extremely nauseating way, lying there while his voice echoed in my mind.

_You aren't good enough._

_You are undeserving._

_You are so plain and ugly._

_You are unworthy._

_You are nothing._

Squeezing my eyes tightly, a few stray tears escaping, I covered my ears with my hand in a desperate attempt to block out _his _voice.

"I'm not good enough." I whispered. "I'm undeserving. I'm plain and ugly. I'm unworthy. I am nothing."

I repeated this over and over while rocking back and forth on the ground with my knees pulled to my chest.

Minutes past, before an unnatural breeze came from behind me. Edward appeared in front of me, staring at my pathetic position on the floor.

"Bella?"

I continued to rock back and forth whispering my mantra. I stared off into space, my eyes blank.

"I'm not good enough. I'm undeserving. I'm plain and ugly. I'm unworthy. I am nothing." I whispered again and again.

Suddenly Edward was on his knees, his face looking into my blank one. His expression was one of deep concern. But I did not snap out of it, I continued rocking and whispering my mantra.

His hands were on my shoulders, forcing me to stop rocking. Then he murmured "You are good enough. You are deserving. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are my everything."

* * *

**I hope you liked part three! It was quite a bit shorter than the last chapter, this chapter only 2362 words. I am liking the way this fanfic is turning out and the reviews seem like you guys enjoy it too so thank you! I will continue this fanfiction but I would like to hear some feedback in the review section. Please take a minute to let me know what you think. I read all my reviews!**

**Speaking of reviews, I showed my sister this fanfic and she loved it. But unfortunately she decided to write ten guest reviews about nonsense! Go check them out if you want a laugh lol:)**

**Thank you for reading, please review!**

**~ Alexandra**


	4. Part IV

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

**~ Part Four ~**

**Bella's POV**

"_Edward!" I screamed, my voice raw. _

_My chest was heavy, the hole in my chest sending spasms throughout my body. My anguish could only be described as ferocious flames consuming me whole as my emotions burned within me. But I continued to run through the twisting paths of the dark forest searching and searching. Only to find nothing at all. _

"_Edward!" I shrieked again, my legs felt like jelly but that was nothing compared to the heartbreak I felt._

_Everything appeared the same. All the fallen twigs and branches, moss covered rocks and tall oak trees swaying in the cool night breeze. Everywhere I ran looked identical, making it impossible to find what I was looking for. _

_The lump in my throat only seemed to get worse, I felt a sob threatening to escape. I forced myself to gulp it down so I could continue my search. So again, I broke into a sprint, dodging the leafy green trees and their obscuring branches. My heart nearly stopped when I saw a break in the trees up ahead. Quickly, I picked up my pace, running the fastest I've ever ran before. As I broke through the trees, disappointment hit me like a punch in the stomach. If I had felt any hope before, it had vanished down into nothing but dejection. _

_I went to scream again but instead came a heart wrenching sob, followed by another and another till I sank to my knees. My frame shook and tears streamed down my face a waterfall. I knew it was a loss case to wipe them away. _

"_Edward!"_

"_EDWARD!"_

"Bella.."

"Bella!"

I jolted awake, tears oozing from my red rimmed eyes. It took me a second before I began sobbing. I wrapped my arms around myself, attempting to hold myself together and lessen the increasing pain.

Suddenly I was enveloped in Edward's protective embrace, he pulled me against his chest. My head tucked under his chin while he rocked me back and forth. Edward softly whispered soothingly into my ears, he stroked my strands of mahogany hair with his cool fingertips gently.

I sobbed into his chest, ruining his navy cotton shirt. My hands were fisted tightly in the soft material, clutching on for dear life.

I hadn't even remembered falling to sleep. The last thing I recall was sitting on the floor with Edward beside me. He had pulled me onto his lap, reassuring me of my insecurities. I guess I had fallen asleep. He must have carried me into bed and tucked me under the warm fleece covers.

Eventually my sobs turned to whimpers and sniffles. My eyelids began to feel heavy, my body slumping into Edward. It wasn't long until I surrendered, letting my eyes close and blackness surrounding me.

X~X~X

My eyes fluttered open, I squinted as I adjusted to the sunlight. Groggily, I sat up, trying to shake away the lingering sleepiness. Peering around the room I noticed Edward sat in the wooden rocking chair in the corner of the brightly lit room.

"Edward." I spoke, my voice slightly hoarse from just waking up.

"Bella." He spoke in a mere velvety whisper.

My mind was foggy, hazy. I tried to shake away the feeling.

"Are you alright love?"

My gaze flickered over to Edward, I locked my eyes with his golden ones before answering, "I'm fine, I just need a human moment."

He nodded as I stumbled out of the room to the bathroom across the hall. I shut the door silently behind me before glancing into the mirror above the sink.

I looked so incredibly exhausted and drained. The deep circles under my dropping lifeless eyes and pale sunken in cheeks. My matted brown hair stuck up in all directions, I quickly attempted to tame it with my hands. It didn't do all that much.

Sighing, I turned to look away from the mirror. I decided to splash cold water on my face to give me some energy and hopefully make my face look less deadlike. I was already unattractive enough to begin with…

I turned the tap on cold, splashing in my face. Immediately I was awake, my mind less foggy. That's when the memories of last night hit me.

I gasped. Quickly I shut the tap off, drying my face with the beige hand towel and scurrying out the room. Edward was already standing in my bedroom, waiting for me.

Edward pulled me into a hug, smoothing back my hair.

"It's okay." He soothed, his voice smooth like honey.

I pressed my face into his chest, inhaling his luxurious calming scent. We stayed like this for a few minutes till Edward broke the silence.

"Would you like some breakfast Bella?"

I nodded as he took my hand and guided me downstairs to the empty kitchen. Charlie had already left for work, he hadn't pushed for me to return to school yet. He obviously knew I was no where near ready. My insecurities were constantly swarming inside my head, dejecting me.

Edward sat with me at the table while I ate my strawberry poptarts silently. Food hadn't been all that appealing lately. But I felt I needed to eat for Edward, I knew he would be leaving soon, I could feel it. I didn't want to accidently make it happen sooner by disappointing Edward or making him angry.

As I finished up my plate, Edward took it from me, placing it in the sink with the other dirty dishes. I stood up.

He turned to me, "Come for a walk with me?"

With those six words my heart dropped to my stomach, my blood going cold. It was happening, Edward was leaving. I knew it would happen but I didn't think it would be so soon. I had no time to think. Not that I could anyway, my mind was jumbled.

My heart began to beat faster, it almost felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. I felt nauseous and lightheaded. I gripped the chair for support, my knuckles going white. I broke out into a cold sweat as my breathing picked up.

Worst of all was the pain in my chest, worst than ever before. The hole in my heart ripped open, bigger than it ever had previously. It was like burning acid poured on a fresh open wound. Heck, that may even be less painful. Waves of rejection hit me, torrents of agony stabbing me in my shattered broken heart.

I gasped from the intensity of the pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, as the anguish coursed through me so powerfully.

I was vaguely aware of an urgent voice calling my name.

"Bella?"

I could barely hear it with the loud beating of my heart in my ears. I attempted to open my eyes, I swayed, the dizziness getting to me.

Finally my knees gave away and I fell to the floor. I could barely think, all that was running through my head was Edward's leaving.

"No!" I screamed, the words scraping against my throat.

"No! No! NO!"

Edward's cold granite hands were on me, grasping my arms gently. Vaguely through the tears and dizziness I could see him kneeling in front of me with wide panicked eyes.

A sob erupted from my throat as I reached to grab Edward's arm. I held onto it with a death grip.

"No please!" I dissolved in sobs, "You can't leave me!"

**Edward's POV**

It wasn't normal. Bella's behaviour. Desperately I wished to know what had occurred that day when I had found Bella injured deep in the forest. I still had no clue what happened, Bella hadn't opened up. But she seemed so incredibly hurt.

She so fiercely believed I was leaving her, which made me feel worse, knowing it was true. I knew I had to leave eventually, my presence is far too dangerous in her life. I didn't want to drag it out leaving any longer,though I also knew I couldn't leave Bella in the fragile state she was already in. Leaving her would already be hard enough, nearly impossible of course so I physically couldn't bare to leave her while she was already going through emotional turmoil.

Then tonight. I had not expected it at all. Sure, I knew Bella harbored insecurities but tonight had changed my thoughts completely. I don't know if she always thought what she had tonight or if her insecurities had increased drastically lately. Not being able to read her mind made the situation even more frustrating, I would never know.

Bella thought she wasn't good enough, that she was undeserving, that she wasn't beautiful or worthy. She thought she meant nothing.

Bella had never been more wrong in her life.

Really it was me who is all those things, unworthy, undeserving, not good enough. Not Bella.

Bella is the most beautiful creature alive, beyond perfect. She is far more deserving than I will ever be.

I don't know what brought on this turn of events but it destroyed me as I rocked her in my arms. It took everything in me to not dissolve into sobs with her. I needed to be strong for Bella. Every sob that escaped her mouth and every tear that stained my shirt made my heart shatter over and over. I gripped her tight, willing myself to hold myself together. She was my anchor. Not only did I hold her against my chest for her benefit but for mine as well.

With my heart still throbbing, I peered over at Bella snuggled under the blankets from my spot in the rocking chair. Her soft mahogany hair fanned out on the pillow, her angelic face peaceful. My hands craved to touch Bella's creamy porcelain cheeks and run my fingers through the strands of her silky brown hair.

My eyes trailed down to her pale pink lips, then down to her neck inspecting her collarbones which were very prominent. Since the day in the forest, Bella had lost weight, far too much. Beneath her eyes were deep purple circles, her cheekbones hollowed out and her skin had grown paler. I noticed the way her old clothes hung from her thin frame. But that didn't change my opinion, my Bella would always be incredibly beautiful no matter what.

Bella's brow furrowed cutely, as she changed positions under the covers. She mumbled something incoherent before a frown played on the edges of her lips.

I frowned as well, wondering what she was dreaming over to change her peaceful expression to a frown.

That's when the thrashing began. Bella tossed and turned, her frown deepening. Her mumbles became louder, but still I couldn't understand what she was saying.

Until I heard her murmur my name, "Edward…" Bella thrashed again more frantically this time.

The air smelled of salt and I instantly knew of the tears oozing from the corners of Bella's tightly closed eyes.

"Edward!" She yelled.

I jumped up from the position on the rocking chair, hurrying over to the bedside to wake Bella from her nightmare.

"Edward!" She yelled, louder this time.

I began to worry that Charlie would wake. I didn't want to have to leave her and pretend I was home sleeping again like last time. I wanted to be by Bella's side as she woke.

So I shook Bella lightly, trying to coax Bella from dream.

"Bella.."

"EDWARD!"

My eyes widened, I frantically shook her again. "Bella!"

Bella's eyes snapped open and she shot into a sitting position onto the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms about herself, seemingly trying to hold herself together.

Immediately I pulled her into my arms like I had earlier that night and rocked in her my lap. I whispered soothingly into ears, trying to calm her enough so she could stop sobbing.

Fortunately Charlie hadn't been woken by Bella's screams. He was in far too deep a sleep.

Bella unleashed another strangled cry. My throat was incredibly tight and I knew it wouldn't be long before I broke down too, but I couldn't do that till Bella was fast asleep. So I clamped my mouth shut and forced the lump down my throat instead choosing to inhale Bella's intoxicating scent to calm me. I held onto Bella tightly, stroking her hair while agony exploded inside of me as she released each heart wrenching sob.

"I love you." I whispered, closing my eyes to hide away my anguish.

Bella's sobs continued for another ten minutes but it felt like _decades. _

Eventually her cries turned to soft whimpers. It wasn't too much longer before the rhythm of Bella's heart slowed and I knew she had fallen back asleep.

The constant ache in my chest had not lessened, though I didn't want to leave Bella in her fragile state I knew it wouldn't be long until my anguish would be unleashed. So begrudgingly, I planted a sweet kiss on her forehead before sweeping out of the open window.

* * *

**So that's it for this chapter! It is one of my shortest chapters yet but it was a good place to stop. Also because there is some information in the next chapter I didn't want to give away yet in this chapter which is why I cut it shorter than usual. Anyway please let me know what you think of this chapter, also feel free to share what you think is going to happen next! I love hearing all your feedback!**

**Also if you have time then please go check out my other story 'Unrecognizable'. It has reached over 100 reviews now! Yay! Here is the summary if you are interested:**

_**Edward left Bella to be changed into a vampire by Victoria. Twenty years pass, she is famous singer, songwriter. The Cullens go to her concert, not recognizing her as Bella but as her stage name Izzy Elizabeth. Bella wants revenge on Edward, what better way to do that then using his one weakness. His long lost mate. OOC ExB **_

**Thanks again for reading! Please review, pretty please with Edward on top?**

**~Alexandra xx**


	5. Part V

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**~ Part Five ~**

**Edward's POV**

I didn't want to go too far in case Bella awoke again from another nightmare. I did however go far enough not to wake anyone up. I ended up in a secluded spot in the forest, finally with the weight of the events and bottled up emotions I slumped to the grassy ground. A sob ripped through me, followed by another one and another one. I couldn't stop them or slow them down. They just came.

Suddenly, I felt a burst of anger and jumped up from my fetal position on the forest floor. I roared before knocking an innocent tree down, the wood splintering down the middle.

Then I collapsed on the ground again in a heap, sobbing.

Something happened to Bella in the forest that day. Something terrible, enough to give her emotional scars and haunting nightmares. Something so traumatic it sent her into a catatonic state.

Dammit! I wish I knew what happened!

My hand slammed down on a rock beside me, smashing it to bits and pieces. Just like my heart when I witnessed Bella's state earlier before. The greatest pain in the world was seeing my angel hurt. I wish it had been me. She doesn't deserve pain, she deserves sheer joy and happiness.

I decided tomorrow I would take Bella for a walk in the woods to sort out what had happened. She needed to feel better before I left.

I did find something odd about this entire situation though. Bella seemed to also be having nightmares about myself leaving since the day in the forest. I didn't have an idea why. I always assumed whatever happened in the forest had intensified her insecurities. The pain she already felt, she had unconsciously projected into the dreams. At least that was my theory. I knew I would have to leave, my family had already settled in Ithaca, they were still waiting for my arrival. My family and I are a constant danger to Bella. She isn't safe with us. So I have to do it for her own good even if I must suffer in return. Surely Bella wouldn't be as pained as she was after her dreams. She would move on, marry a human man and have children of her own. Something I could not provide her.

Dawn was approaching so I knew I had to find my way back to Bella. So I forced myself to pick myself up from the ground, running back to Bella's house before she awoke from her slumber.

I jumped into her open window, peering at Bella's body twisted in the soft fleece bed sheets. I took a step forward, standing directing beside her bed watching her sleep, memorizing each and every detail of her face. Even though I already have it deeply engraved in my mind. I just could not help myself. Lightly, I stroked her cheek, my cool granite hand grazing over her smooth creamy skin. The electricity I felt when I touched Bella never diminished. I would deeply miss it, beyond what I could put into words.

As the sun rose in the distance, I knew it wouldn't be long till Bella woke. I made my way back to the rocking chair in the corner. Patiently waiting for Bella to wake. I knew today was going to be enlightening, well I hoped it would be. Truly, I wished the walk in the forest to be a success. I desperately needed to know what happened to her to cause her such pain and suffering. I wish I could take it all away, but I knew it was impossible.

As I suspected it didn't take long for Bella to wake up. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes fluttered open, squinting as the sunlight spilled through the window. She groggily sat up in her bed, peering around the room.

"Edward."

"Bella." I whispered.

Her eyes were hazy, her expression seeming confused. She shook her head.

"Are you alright love?" I asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, I just need a human moment."

I nodded as Bella stumbled out of the room to the bathroom across the hall.

I tried to block out what was going on in the bathroom for Bella's privacy. But I did hear a quick gasp, Bella must of remembered last night's events.

When she returned, I enveloped her into a reassuring hug as I smoothed back her silky brown hair. "It's okay." I whispered.

We stayed wrapped up in eachother's arms for a few minutes. I still wanted to take Bella for the walk into the woods to get things sorted out. I was hoping for answers. I thought maybe just maybe, after I knew what happened I could help her heal. Then when I knew she would be okay I could break the news to her I was leaving. I had made a plan, I knew Bella wouldn't let me go if I told her the real reason for my leaving so I would commit the blackest kind of blasphemy, I would have to lie. That was the only way she would let me go. My heart had began to ache so I internally shook my head from my thoughts and attempted to focus on my angel's warm embrace and soothing freesia scent.

It was a comfortable silence but I knew it was beginning to get late and Bella would be needing to eat.

"Would you like some breakfast Bella?" I asked, breaking the silence.

She nodded and I took her hand and guided her downstairs to the empty kitchen.

I sat with Bella as she nibbled slowly at her breakfast. The entire time my thoughts focused on how I was going to approach the topic I wanted to address during our walk in the woods.

As Bella finished with the last crumbs of her pop tart, I took her dish and swiftly placed it in the sink before turning back to her. "Come for a walk with me?"

Slowly Bella's skin paled visibly, her eyes going wide and filling with horror. I heard the sweet sounds of her beating heart pick up to an incredibly fast past, her breathing too came out in short fast puffs. With my heightened senses I could see beads of sweat accumulate on her forehead, along with her tightening grip on the chair, her knuckles going white.

My eyes went wide with horror as well.

That's when Bella squeezed her eyes tightly, her lips turning into a grimace. From the look on her angelic face I could tell she was in pain. Horrid pain.

As a gasp left Bella's mouth, I called her name. "Bella?" Urgency in my voice.

Bella swayed, her knees giving away.

I snapped out of my frozen stance, jumping to her rescue. I caught her by her waist, setting her on the ground in front of me as I kneeled over her.

The air whooshed out of my lungs as Bella screamed, "No!"

"No! No! NO!"

My eyes widened further, if possible. Panic coursed through me, what was happening?

I grasped Bella's arms gently.

"Bella!" I yelled, scared. But judging from the look on her teary face she hadn't heard me.

A sob erupted from her throat as she reached to grab my arm, holding onto it with a death grip.

"No please!" Bella dissolved in sobs, "You can't leave me!"

My blood went cold.

**Bella's POV**

Suddenly Edward's hands weren't holding onto me anymore.

That only made me sob harder, rejection washing through me.

"I-I k-know you d-don't love m-me a-any-m-more but-" My sobbing took over and I was unable to finish.

Through my blurred vision, I could make out Edward's frozen stance.

Was it of disgust? Probably.

"I-I'm sorry I'm n-not en-enough."

Silence followed, with the exception of my cries of course. He still hadn't spoken a word.

Then it got worse.

My heart seemed to pick up its pace to a frantic racing, blood pounding heavily my ears. Suddenly, I felt like I was suffocating, the air thick making me choke for oxygen. My lungs were in overdrive as I clawed at my throat for air. The only way to describe the sensation was, I felt like my throat was closing up.

It was too hot, my clammy hands slick with sweat. The heat was suffocating me. But strangely enough, a chill went through my trembling body.

My mind jumbled, panicked thoughts flooding through, I had to be dying!

All of the sudden, I wasn't on the kitchen floor anymore. I was on the couch in the living room with Edward in front of me, his hands grasping my shoulders.

"Breath Bella, you're hyperventilating."

My surrounds blending together, I could barely make out Edward's velvety voice. It sounded so far away.

A pain in my chest became aware, accompanied by the racing of my heart.

"H-help me!" I yelled between short, sharp, stinging breaths. "I-I'm having a-a heart a-ttack!"

Edward's hand was cupping my cheek, "No Bella, listen, you are experiencing a panic attack. Take deep breaths for me."

I tried to do as he said but all I could think of is my dream, the dream where Edward would be leaving. Something that would be happening so painfully soon.

"_It'll be as if I never existed, I promise."_

Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes, leaving a burning trail down my cheek. Shuddering, I attempted to take a deep breath, it came out shaky.

Swallowing down a sob, I pleaded, "Please." I breathed, my voice broken.

"Don't leave." Then I broke out into more sobs, no longer able to keep them in.

Cold hands rubbed my back in small circles repeatedly as I cried, my breathing slightly better than before though still coming in short gasps.

When the sobs started to slow, Edward spoke.

"Would you like me to get you some water?" He slid off the couch, beginning to make his way to the kitchen.

"No!" I yelled, the pain in my chest increasing to an anguish I hadn't known existed.

The air was sucked out of me, gasping out, I wrapped my arms around my chest in a feeble attempt to diminish the agony.

My ears were ringing, "Bella?"

Vaguely, I could hear Edward's velvety voice in the background asking if I was okay.

I gritted my teeth against it. "It hurts so bad… help me." I choked, fighting for breath.

In a second, Edward was over, back on the couch with his soothing granite arms around me. Pressing my nose against his chest, I inhaled his intoxicating scent. A calming feeling filled me, the agony gradually settled down to a dull ache. My breathing slowed.

I still felt pain, just a different kind, not physical but emotional turmoil. How much longer could I really keep him here?

"I know the others aren't hunting, I know you're l-leaving."

He immediately stiffened. With hesitation he spoke in a monotone voice, "How do you know?"

Shivers went down my spine, my heart beating out of my chest, the pain was returning. I hissed quietly as I felt it. Using my right hand, I held it to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

"Just give me a second." I gasped.

It didn't pass.

"Edward." I choked.

Concerned, he looked into my eyes, his hands gripping my shoulders gently. "What's happening?"

"My chest, it hurts so bad." My jaw was clenched, my eyes scrunched up.

Edward looked panicked, unsure of what to do.

"Just hold me." I rasped out.

Torture burned in eyes beautiful golden eyes, I didn't understand why. Nonetheless, he pressed me to his chest, planting a kiss to the top of my head.

I visibly relaxed, the pain lessening again. I could breathe again.

"It went away." I whispered.

Edward pulled away enough to look me in the face. He brushed a fallen strand of mahogany hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

The corners of my lips, turned downwards into a frown, realizing where our conversation had been headed before the pain in my chest had halted it.

"You were going to leave that day, the day you found me in the forest…"

Again, I could feel him stiffen. "Yes."

I sucked in a shuddering breath, feeling that same pain in my chest.

"You don't want me, that's what you said. You said you don't love me anymore, that I wasn't good enough, that I was just a mere distraction…" I cried, I couldn't finish.

It silent for a moment, other than my cries, then I felt Edward's hands on my shoulders.

"Look at me Bella."

I didn't right away so Edward's finger tucked under my chin, gently lifting my head to face his.

I could see the torture burning in his golden eyes.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan with every fibre of my being. Never doubt that. I don't deserve you, not the other way around. You are my whole life, not a distraction. Please, _please _believe that."

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. "Why leave then?" I gulped.

Visible anguish filled his eyes, as his body slumped. He looked down, grabbing my hand, holding it to his stone lips where he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of my hand.

"My family and I are a danger to you Bella. Merely being in the same room as is you is extremely risky. If I were to lose control even for a split second, I could _kill _you Bella. Jasper was so painfully close to hurting you, I simply cannot allow that to happen again."

"It won't happen again, it was a mistake and I already forgave Jasper… you can't let this tear us apart."

"Bella, you don't seem to underst-"

I cut in, successfully interrupting him, "No I completely understand, you are trying to make another decision for me, for us." I motioned between the two of us. "You are making a decision that evolves the both of us, shouldn't I have a say?"

"The decision has already been made, all the preparations are complete, I just have to join my family who are already settled in our new residence."

"So that's it then?" My hollow voice was nothing above a quiet whisper.

He nodded.

"If you truly loved me, why is it so easy to leave me Edward?" My voice shook with sadness.

Edward moved in closer in flash, cupping my cheek, "Leaving you is going to be the hardest thing I've done is my entire existence."

He brushed away a fallen tear.

"So this is goodbye then?" I asked brokenly, any hope left had vanished now. He was really leaving.

"Yes, this is goodbye."

I could see his inner turmoil, but he kept up his facade well. A normal person would never have suspected a thing, however I knew him far too great to have not noticed.

Edward reached in for one last kiss, placing a soft farewell kiss on my lips gently.

"Goodbye Bella."

* * *

**Okay so please don't hate me, I know it looks like Edward is leaving but they are going to have their happily ever after so don't worry :) We still a few more parts left. This is a short story, not a long one unless I decide to expand more. We will see haha :) I hope you liked his chapter lots. I know the ending is sad but don't worry! There is more to come! Also I'm incredibly sorry that this is sooo late! My last update was in August but I'm back and I'm continuing this! So check back for more soon! :)**

**Thanks for reading, please review and let me know if you think Edward is really going to leave or not.**

**~ Alexandra**


	6. Part VI

**WARNING: This chapter may be sensitive to anyone who has been through severe depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, etc...**

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**~ Part Six ~**

**Bella's POV**

"_Goodbye Bella."_

Edward made his way to the door swiftly, but paused as his hand hovered over the doorknob.

"One last thing Bella, can you do me a favor please?"

I shook my head vigorously. "Anything." I choked.

"Promise me you won't do anything reckless or stupid, please."

I was about to nod my head in agreement instead my next word shocked the both of us.

"No."

Edward froze at the door.

"I can't promise you that." I added quietly.

Edward turned so I could look into his eyes. They were filled with confusion, hurt and so much pain.

"Bella, I simply couldn't _live_ with myself if I knew I caused you to-" He stopped unable to finish.

"I can't live without you Edward."

His golden eyes hardened, his voice like stone, "You can. Your emotions are human, nothing even remotely close to an immortals."

"You're underestimating my feelings for you _again._"

I was becoming angry, angry he didn't understand the depth of my love for him.

Edward shook his head, laughing humorlessly. "You will never understand."

"Bullshit." It came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I never cussed, ever.

Edward's eyes snapped up to look at mine, shock lining his features.

"I'm leaving now." He announced, emotionless, his voice stoic.

The pang in my heart increased to a ten fold as I envisioned my life after Edward's departure.

I grimaced, feeling the same pain in my chest as before.

No, I couldn't live without him, I just couldn't.

"I love you Bella, remember that forever. But I must leave, there is no other way."

I could barely breathe, never mind think.

Edward opened the door now.

"I love you," I gasp, not able to move from my frozen position on the couch.

"Goodbye."

And he was gone.

I blinked away the burning tears, a hollow feeling in my chest making itself aware.

It was only when I felt the jolt in my stomach that I jumped up from the couch, sprinting the bathroom with hand clamped over my mouth.

I didn't make it in time and I vomited all over myself. Bursting in tears, I collapsed to the cool tiled bathroom floor, managing to bang my hand on the cabinet on my way down. I barely felt the pain in my hand, only the throbbing in my chest. Blood oozed out of the bruising cut, but I couldn't seem to care about it. I sobbed for what seemed like hours but in reality was only a couple minutes. I went to wipe away the salty tears, forgetting about the vomit and blood left on my hands.

My lip quivered as I rose to wash my hands. As I turned on the faucet, I made the mistake of looking at my appearance in the mirror.

I could barely recognize myself.

My eyes bloodshot, my paled skin and dark circles rimming my under eyes. My collarbones seemed to jut out a mile, my frail pasty skin stretching over the bones, it was sickening. My dulled brown hair was covered in dried puke along with my cotton tee shirt.

I stared into my lifeless brown eyes, thinking back to all I had lost. I didn't know how I continue to feel this way…

The persistent pain in my chest made it hard to think about anything else. I felt like death except I wasn't dying but oh I wish I was.

Looking into the mirror again, a sick twisted smile crossed my face as a plan brewed inside my head.

It didn't have to be like this. There was always a way to end pain, pain never lasted forever. And I knew I couldn't last much longer in this cruel agony.

I traced over the blue veins underneath my paper like skin, imagining the rich red blood flowing inside of them. My eyes traveled to the red stained water in the sink from the blood on my hand.

Rummaging through the cabinets under the sink I found two items. A single razor blade and an old bottle of painkillers that belonged to Charlie when he had surgery last year.

I debated on which would act faster but in the end decided both would be the best bet. Unscrewing the cap to the bottle, I shook out a handful of the tiny white oval pills. I filled the cup beside the sink with water and took off the plastic safety cover to the razor.

This was it.

I'm sorry Charlie. I love you Edward.

As I was about to toss the pills into my mouth, a white hand flashed out in front of me, gripping my wrist.

A gasp escaped my throat as I looked up to see Edward standing there with a heartbreaking expression.

"How could you do this?" His voice cracked at the end, something I didn't know a vampire was capable of.

The handful of pills spilled out of my hand, scattering onto the tiled floor. A strangled sound left my throat.

Edward's eyes hardened, narrowing as his gaze traveled down to the vomit on the floor, the cut on my hand and lastly the pink tinted sink. He reached out to shut of the running water from the faucet.

Still frozen to my spot, I watched as Edward picked up the fallen pills in vampire speed then crush them in his fist over the garbage basket. His body was rigid, his posture tense and his eyes filled with a sort of hatred I didn't understand.

He put the razor back in the cabinet where I found it and at vampire speed cleaned the vomit off the floor. I felt ashamed as he did that of course. I couldn't have made it to the toilet?

Then still without speaking, he gently grabbed my wrist, guiding me to the sink where he put my hand under the faucet to clean my cut. Looking through the cabinets, he found the first aid kit. After disinfecting it, he bandaged it.

Edward used a wet washcloth to clean the puke out of my hair then left the room in a flash and came back with a fresh set of clothes.

He shuts the door behind him, leaving me with my privacy to change. Tears fill my eyes, I bite my lip and slide off my soiled clothes, changing into the new pair.

I swallow back a sob and leave the bathroom to go back to my room where I hope Edward is waiting. As soon as I see him sitting in the old wooden rocking chair in the corner of my room, the sob I was holding in slipped out, followed by another one and another one. Attempting to hold myself together, I hug my torso, trying to rid myself of the pain that was nagging at my heart.

But then I was enveloped into familiar comforting arms. Edward shushed me, brushing back my mahogany hair and guiding me over to the bed.

He settled me in between his legs, rocking me back and forth.

Sobbing heavily, I grip Edward's shirts with my hands, my body shaking.

"I'm.. s-so-rry." I cried, soaking his shirts with salty tears.

"Shh, it's okay." He rubbed circles on my back, "Breathe, Bella."

I hadn't realized I was sucking in fast short gasps of air, on the brink of hyperventilation. So I attempted to slow my breathing down to its normal pace.

Minutes past, though it felt like hours. Who knows. Eventually my body screamed of exhaustion, and I fell asleep.

I was dreaming. But it wasn't one of those future telling ones, those were different. They were clearer and I wasn't so out of it..

I could tell this was a dream, the edges were faded, blurry.

This dream was different, I was seeing myself and Edward, in a third person point of view. I was reliving a memory from what it looked like.

I sat on the couch, tears staining my cheeks, with Edward sitting across from me.

"_Why leave then?" _

Edward slumped at my question, torturing burning within him. I could see it now so much clearer from this new perspective.

He pressed a soft gentle kiss to my hand.

"_My family and I are a danger to you Bella. Merely being in the same room as is you is extremely risky. If I were to lose control even for a split second, I could kill you Bella. Jasper was so painfully close to hurting you, I simply cannot allow that to happen again."_

His last words were ringing in my hand.

_I simply cannot allow that to happen. _

I found myself getting angry at this. He couldn't allow it? Was he taking over Charlie's role of being my father?

Frowning, I narrowed my eyes, looking back at the scene in front of me.

"_It won't happen again, it was a mistake and I already forgave Jasper… you can't let this tear us apart." _

Of course I was right but Edward was so stubborn.

"_Bella, you don't seem to underst-"_

When it came to Edward, I never 'understood'. It was completely unfair. More anger brewed inside of me, why couldn't I stand up to him?

"No I completely understand, you are trying to make another decision for me, for us. You are making a decision that involves the both of us, shouldn't I have a say?"

This made me smile, I was standing my ground.

"_The decision has already been made, all the preparations are complete, I just have to join my family who are already settled in our new residence." _

My smile disappeared, if I left it up to Edward, he would have complete control of my life. I hated it, he didn't have that right.

Suddenly the vision was becoming hazy and I felt my subconscious coming back to me.

I was waking.

Slowly my senses came back to me, my sleep fading away until my eyes fluttered open. Squinting against the brightness of the sunlight spilling through my curtains, I sat up from my position on my bed. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, my gaze travelling around the room until I stopped at the corner where Edward sat on the rocking chair.

"Good morning Bella."

"Good morning." I yawned.

"I would like to talk to you today, however first you must have breakfast."

Did he really just say _must_?

That's when I remembered my dream and the anger came flooding back.

"_I simply cannot allow that to happen."_

My eyes narrowed, "Actually, I think I would like to have that talk first."

"No Bella, you need to eat first, the talk can wait."

_No Bella. _

He doesn't decide what I do.

"_No _Edward, I want to talk right now." I kept my voice firm, not wavering. Some of the anger I was feeling leaked into my voice.

He sighed, "Bella, I really think it's in your best interest if you-"

I rolled my eyes, snapping up from my bed to stand in front of me, "You _aren't _my father, I want to talk to you right now."

Edward's eyes widened, "Fine."

I led him downstairs to the living room. I choose to sit in front of him instead of beside him.

"You can't keep making decisions for me."

His eyes hardened, "It's for your best interest Bella."

"What I do with my life is _my _decision, _not yours._"

Edward sighed, "Bella-"

"No! Don't 'Bella' me! You could have killed the both of us you know. You always say, if I died you would follow." My heart throbbed at the thought of him being harmed. "You don't understand the depth of my feelings for you, I can't _live _without you."

I took a breath, "Edward, you have to realize that you can't continue making decisions for me. I should have said this a long time ago. You aren't my father, you have no right whatsoever. I love you but this has to stop. You decided to leave without even asking me! Unless you were lying and you really don't love me." That pain came back in my chest.

"No Bella! I love you so much! You can't actually believe that, do you?"

"I do believe that, why wouldn't I… You choose this on your own… that's not how relationships work. What else what I think, it's the only reasonable answer."

He frowned, disbelief in his coal eyes. He got up from the couch, coming to sit beside me. Edward took his hands in mine, his body facing mine.

"I love you Bella, you don't realize how dangerous I am, I'm only making this decisions because I couldn't live with myself without you existing."

A weak smile played at the edges of my lips as I looked down at our conjoined hands, his thumb gently stroking my hand. He brought it to his lips, gingerly placing a kiss on the top.

"I can't live without you, you know."

Edward frowned.

"That pain in my chest, it's excruciating but I finally understand its meaning." I paused, looking up at his face, "My body can't bare to be separated from you. I crave your mere presence, I wish you would understand that. My feelings for you are stronger than ever."

Edward's expression was calculating at first until his lips parted and he spoke, "I feel it too," He placed his hand on my heart, feeling it's rhythmic beating, my heart fluttered at his touch and Edward chuckled lightly.

**Edward's POV**

I understood now. I had an epiphany of sorts. For ever, I have always doubted Bella's human feelings even measured up to my vampire heightened feelings. That's why I thought she would move on so quickly if I left.

But I understood now, I felt that same anguished throbbing in my chest whenever I was away from Bella, but to know she experiences the same thing. It's such a magical feeling, a feeling so strong it was beyond what I could put into words.

My love for her was even stronger than before, if that was possible of course.

"I love you so much." I whispered.

"I love you too." She breathed.

It was silent then, I just fiddled with Bella's hands, it was a comfortable silence. I just needed her presence and with that I felt peace.

"Edward?" Bella spoke, breaking the silence.

"Yes love."

I could hear her nerves, her breath was shortening and her heart picking up it's pace. I was officially curious.

"You…. you aren't leaving again right?"

I almost laughed, "No, definitely not. I realize now how much of a bad decision I'd made before. You're right, my poor decision could have killed us both. I don't think I could survive another separation, even if the first one was only a sheer few minutes."

Bella breathed a heavy sigh of relief, scooting her small body closer so her back was pressed up against my chest.

"Does that mean the others will be coming back as well?"

I laughed, "Yes, I'll call them later but right now I would like to spend my time with you. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too." There was a brief moment of silence until Bella spoke again, "Edward?"

I hummed in response, playing with pieces of her soft brown hair.

"You won't do it again right?"

"Do what again love?" I was puzzled, what in the world was she talking about. Oh I wish I could read her mind in times like these.

"Make any more decisions for me?"

"I will try my best, I'm sorry I've upset you." My eyes were downcast, my voice filled with regret and utter sadness.

"Don't be upset." Bella whispered, grazing my cheek with her fingertips. Her touch left a electrifying burning sensation that I simply relished.

I kissed her forehead, "I will try my best."

That's when I noticed the deep purple rings etched beneath her tired eyes. I traced them with my finger.

"You look exhausted, I know you haven't slept well these last few days. Why don't you take a nap?"

"I don't want to waste our time together. And it's only ten thirty in the morning."

"Don't worry about that love, sleep now. You need it."

Bella compiled then, choosing to snuggle up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around her small body, breathing in her intoxicating scent.

This was all I ever needed. Having Bella in my arms was my own personal heaven. I never wanted it to end.

* * *

**That was it, hope you all liked it. I love writing so much, and even though this week is exam week and I should be studying a lot more, I'm using my time to write haha. It's very relaxing in my opinion. **

**I listened to the New Moon soundtrack when I wrote this, I really liked the classical music in the movies, classical is great for while writing. Let me know some of you favorite classical songs or songs in any genre :) I love hearing from all of you.**

**In this chapter, Bella finally stood up for herself, yay! I had how in the books she lets Edward walk all over her. So I wanted to have her stand up for herself in this story. Hope you enjoyed it too. Thanks for reading! Please review if you feel up to it :D**

**Alexandra 3**


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